WOMEN NOT ALLOWED!

IF I THOUGHT we could increase attendance at the August Chess Festival by broadcasting that women were not allowed into the Inner Sanctum, or worse yet, couldn’t play chess to save their ironing board, and get that on CNN, I wouldn’t be able to handle the crowd. I would need to rent an amphitheater! I’d have to rent wheelbarrows to take the registration money to the bank.

It was all “screwed up” pre 1900s. Women were often allowed to play in chess clubs and even had their own tournaments. (In fact, I purchased some books recently from the Chess Player in England with lady contestants. I will detail this in the next issue of the CHESS GAZETTE (#220) which is free to anyone who requests it. Just need your whole name and email address. You can request from info@chessbutler.com) Some of these gals could kick your butt with high heels on and keep their balance! Mrs. Gilbert, the wife of the inventor at Gilbert Scientific and the Erector set once announced a mate in 30, or something like that. Nobody messed with her.

Due to various misfortunes in my life, I’ve been married three times. I didn’t choose them at all because they could play chess but, they could, and they were good. With NO practice they were probably 1500-1600. I am not joking (April Fools Day is past) but I don’t want to embarrass the guys they played by giving you the results!

My daughter gave up chess because, she hated losing! One of my lifelong secrets as to why expert strength (and above) were such good players is that the vast majority would do whatever they could (legally) to not lose! I mean they would bear down. They would even point out the window and say to their opponent, “Look at the birdie.”

The “inferiority” of women is one of the stupidest things to ever come down the pike. I would love to have the rest of my attendees at the Festival to be women. For one reason, they are better looking than the men!

I remember one time when I was vending in Milwaukee. Almost all the players were boys or men, and a few older women who might have been here at the end of the Ice Age. But I told one gal, “If you want to find out where the men are, just go to almost any chess tournament!  I am not saying they will be anywhere close to perfect, but they are there!” Once in a while there might be a “babe” there and that’s about the ONLY time men might look up from their chessboard. SPECIAL OFFER down below…

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

Anyone can learn to shuffle the pieces on a chessboard. But to kick booty you have to do something! The following books have been restocked (or are new) and they try, as hard as they can, to prove that you can whip some serious rear end. Don’t let the ladies learn about these books or they will really whale on you!

  1. ACTIVE PIECES, Practical Advice from America’s Most Relentless Tournament Player by Jay Bonin. $19.95 plus $3 S&H if that is all you want.
  2. RETI MOVE BY MOVE by Thomas Engqvist. $23.95. A big fat book about one of the world’s most unusual chess players. Quirky, somewhat weird, and a good story about someone who really could be called a genius. $23.95. Same info on S&H as above. What’s it like to be a strong player who puts heart and soul into thinking, as well be a great explainer? Engqvist is that guy. A marvelous work.
  3. Once in a while a very fine author comes along, in this next case imagine his name is Thomas (another one!) Luther. He thought maybe some might be interested in how much work must be done when trying to become a grandmaster. He was originally from East Germany, He went out and bought some bootstraps and pulled himself up to be a 3 times winner of the new German Championships. He explains the good points of certain defenses such as the French. His bibliography of things he studied to become quite competent at this chosen profession is no doubt quite long, but he used only 13 books + himself for this book. The book is just 232 pages but it is super packed. Maybe you have a better chance of getting through 232 pages than you would, say 500. It’s just $23.95 with the same shipping restrictions mentioned above.
  4. Now we have a broad spectrum games collection from the pre-1900s with many stories, games, tables (cross), photos and artist’s sketches. But Rhoda Bowles may have taken the cake when she announced an event, full of chess playing women which was for the women’s world chess championship! A Miss Rudge won and had held the title since then. Not only that but some of these females played against male only teams and they were observed cleaning the men’s clocks with Swiss-like precision! Smart men often married smart women. Joost van Winsen did all the labor of putting this work together and this book is labelled “Old Chess Pictures and Related Stories. Part I. London.” And only 100 were printed. So you shouldn’t be surprised that I have it at $54.95 as I only have 4 of them. The last of the lot. But, I do have a deal for whoever is reading this: A. If you are a woman, I’ll sell it to you for $44.95; B. If you come to the August Chess Festival and pay the $150 registration fee, I will sell you this book at 50% off, or $27.50. C. If a woman attends this Festival she can register for $100 IF she bring her significant other (S) for another $100. But, the DEADLINE for all this carrying on is April 8th, midnight. If a woman comes with her Significant Other and doesn’t participate, there is no registration charge or eligibility for any prizes that are offered.
  5. That’s all for now. Payments may be made by PayPal, check or MO, or Credit card.
  6. Call 563-271-6657 or write info@chessbutler.com

Bob & Jack

Easy to remember:

info@chessbutler.com

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